Epic Cover Letter: Best Cover Letter EVER!!!!

Look, I don't know about you all, but this is the funniest shit I've seen this week. If I was a recruiter and I received a cover letter like that I would have no choice but to set up an interview with this person. The nigguh-in-me could never let such a hilarious opportunity go to waste. I wish more people in real life had this much ignorant confidence in themselves. Can you imagine how the world would be if all employees felt this way about themselves. It'd be a bunch of dumb confident fools pencil pushing comedy in a cubicle near you!  Just look at all the contradictions in this letter. *Tears* "When someone cries I am all sympathetic and shit" <<- The complete opposite of sympathetic!!