Ayo whattup yalls this P-Tone n Imma be yalls host for this shit right here. The first annual Pretty Toney Awards is now in effect namsayin. Basically a nigga limited this shit to jus the most important categories namsayin. So we aint gon cover all them joints a nigga had wanted to but Imma give you the shit that yalls is probably thinkin bout yaselves n shit nahmean. Word. So here we go namsayin. Boom.
Hottest Chick in The Game Award
Alicia Keys
Yall already kno what P-Tone be thinkin nahmean....word bond. Ayo Sorry Jay but we kinda off Beyonce right now namsayin. Not that she aint been no dimepiece or nothin like that. But the competition been gettin kinda stiff for a minute now g. What puts Alicia ahead a her is the fact that homegirl can actually sing nahmean. Her actin aint shit but the girl can sing b. N she be playin instruments n shit. Beyonce been gettin cake n all that but she aint got no actual actual talent like that son. There might be other women thats competin wit Alicia as far as flyness goes but they usually dont got a whole lot else goin for theyselves namsayin.
N no offense but Swizzy is a funny lookin nigga namsayin. He look like he half Snoop n half Joe Budden namsayin. Like if you ever wondered what it would look like if you combined Joey n Snoop this is what the fuck it would look like g....not no pretty sight namsayin. Sometimes he be lookin like a black Adrien Brody n shit...again yo I aint mean that as no compliment or nothin. Either way she looked past that niggas strange appearance n shit n let him put a baby in her n all that so I aint really gon front on the nigga. She aint too hung up on looks or nothin so she get respect for that. Not that Beyonce aint had to look past a couple things herself tho...
N no offense but Swizzy is a funny lookin nigga namsayin. He look like he half Snoop n half Joe Budden namsayin. Like if you ever wondered what it would look like if you combined Joey n Snoop this is what the fuck it would look like g....not no pretty sight namsayin. Sometimes he be lookin like a black Adrien Brody n shit...again yo I aint mean that as no compliment or nothin. Either way she looked past that niggas strange appearance n shit n let him put a baby in her n all that so I aint really gon front on the nigga. She aint too hung up on looks or nothin so she get respect for that. Not that Beyonce aint had to look past a couple things herself tho...
Christina Hendricks.
Ayo sorry Scarlett n Angelina. Far as Tone concerned this might be the finest white woman breathin g. The fact that she let that chihuahua lookin ass nigga wife her aint only a damn shame but its proof she aint no shallow ass broad either son. Matter fact she either more blind than Ray Charles was or jus dont give a fuck about looks period...cos that nigga look like a gibbon monkey wit a wig son. Son be makin Swizz look like a normal nigga by comparison. So she really dont be givin a shit. Either that or the nigga jus broke the broads confidence like that nahmean. Ayo maybe he holdin her family members hostage somewhere or some shit like that namsayin. Maybe the nigga a wizard nahmean....bottom line is Tone dont kno what kinda black magic voodoo that nigga usin or what kinda deal the nigga got wit the devil but he landed hisself a AAA grade broad right there wit nice briskets son. N she can act an alla that too. I be hearin broads that look like they should be pullin chuck wagons talkin bout nahhhh she aint all that nahmean....she too pale...she jus fat....she a bitch...or whatever whatever nahmean. Nah you jus a cro magnon broad wit hate in ya heart n cant accept that she look like Godiva n you be lookin like Godzilla namsayin. Fuckouttahere wit all that you hatin ass bitches..
That bein said if this broad right here ever develop any talent...
....she might could take that number 1 position over someday nahmean.
Coyote Ugly Award
Snooki.
Ayo it aint even like the god be hatin dwarf broads like that nahmean. Even if the bitch wasnt 3'11" n shit it aint like she got other shit goin for her like that namsayin. Ayo I dont care how many yalls is feelin this guido muskrat. Homegirl be makin my didick cry son. She got a nigga thinkin bout abstinence n shit. You could probably jus splash ya dick wit Draino if u gon put ya joint in that goblin namsayin. If me n her was the last 2 muthafuckas on earth she would have to kill a nigga if she was hopin for some intimate relations to pop off namsayin. Word. No offense tho ma.
Most Garbage Ass Nigga Breathin Award
C Breezy!
This nigga got so much failure in his DNA that he thought he was gon rescue his career by dying his hair yellow n leakin phone pics of his dick son. Who the fuck been managin this niggas career? Niggas already wanted to stomp this dude n throw his ass off a bridge after that Rihanna shit but he really be thinkin he invincible like that now. Cos he avoided gettin his ass beat n all that. The only smart thing this nigga ever did was go into hidin after he won that fight against Rihanna nahmean. Then he came back on some humble shit. Ayo I was sayin this nigga wasnt shit before any of that shit even went down namsayin. Son be lookin like the 3rd dude on that evolution chart n shit. I aint even believe in all that shit but son is like living evidence of that shit namsayin. This nigga ever throw a chair around me Imma shove the entire chair up his ass then pull it out of his mouth nahmean. I aint even playin wit yalls.
Not The Worst Song But Still A Wack Nigga Award
Wiz Khalifa - On My Level feat. Too$hort
Too bad eything else on the niggas album was straight Febreze tho namsayin. Watch out cos the nigga gon be rockin crazy maternity wards n nurseries wit this album.
Gatorade Nigga Of The Year Award
Dammm Wiz u coppin back to back awards n shit! Cmon son....you really on some serious sucka shit rite here tho namsayin duke. How this nigga squeeze so much thirst onto jus one thumb like this g? You been knowin Amber Rose how long now son? Exactly nigga. N you actin like you ready to wife this broad in the worst way. She got you trained little nigga. You probably at her crib wit a windex bottle n a cloth wipin her windows right now son. You was probably only at the dry humpin stage wit her when you went n got this shit tatted on you too. Luckily you aint had no more room on ya body otherwise this shit coulda got way outta control son.
The Gay Merlin Award
Aubrey
Jus look at the faces this nigga be makin son. If that aint the face of a nigga that wanna fuck other niggas I aint kno what is g. Ayo I feel like son got a flower where his man parts should be namsayin. The nigga cant even do nothin else to make his image more suspect g. Sons whole shit so soft its like he walkin round all day wit a invisible bouquet of dicks nahmean. This nigga was probably dancin on tables at his prom n shit. But got damm he got yall broads fooled! N summa you niggas too. For that accomplishment alone I gotta applaud this nigga. This nigga commited to excellence in gay wizardry nahmean. This nigga probably got a gateway to Narnia in his closet n all that namsayin. Word.
Anyways yall thats all we got for you namsayin. Hope yalls enjoyed the show.
Aight peace.
Anyways yall thats all we got for you namsayin. Hope yalls enjoyed the show.
Aight peace.
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