FOR LEASE: St. Govt.--Used but kinda works, bright red, X-Large,

     Since the folks in Minnesotta have shut down their government for a while, may I recommend we lease them ours here in Alabama? We need the cash real bad!

     The Majority Republican Government we have doesn't much like government anyway, so I'm sure they would agree to make a deal with those folks in Minnesota. ("We'll throw in this classic outdoor lamp in the deal! But wait! There's more!")

     I have a niece with her family living up there, and I can give them a primer on how it works (or doesn't) down here:

•  Name all of your legislation with PR, not truth, in mind. Example: "The Save Alabama's Poor Measure of 2012", even if the bill actually hurts the poor.


• Despite your small government stand, make the central government in your state capitol very, very powerful. Example: don't let the people in your cities and towns make their own tax decision. Home Rule like that makes them less dependant on YOU!


• Make a big stink about the first pay raise for legislators in more than a dozen years, but then refuse to repeal it when you are in power. It keeps voters on their feet. "Hey Helen, I thought those Republicants promised to get rid of that huge pay increase? Are the Democrats secretly pulling the strings?"


• Do everything you can to destroy institutions that tend to support the opposition party. Kill AEA and ASEA and the State Troopers Association....even though those are teachers and police and other state employees you're hurting.


• Refuse to remove the sales tax on food (Yup, we also tax prescription medicine!) because it would require the wealthiest Alabamians to pay a touch more taxes.


• Whatever you do, keep the unions out. Be a "Right To Work" state. (See the first item in this list)

There's more, but we'll let those Minnesota residents get a feel for Government by Alabama for a while...they'll figure out the rest for themselves. Now, how much should we charge?