Ghostface: Ayo whattup niggas. Yalls is officially now rockin wit the best nahmean! This Big Ghost aka the Wizard of Poetry namsayin n yalls aint gon believe who a nigga got on the speaker phone right about now. Word bond. Ayo we got the muthafuckin president on the phone n shit namsayin. We gon be conductin this interview on behalfs of the entire hip hop nation n shit. We got that nigga Alvin from the barber shop takin down notes n shit. Word bond the nigga used to work in courtrooms as a stelographer n shit nahmean. Nigga got his little typewriter joint n shit. Appreciate it my nigga.
Alvin: No doubt, baby.
Ghostface: My niggas from Theodore Unit is in the building namsayin. Word bond. Peace gods. Ayo we gon get right into it. I aint even gon say no more namsayin! Say hello, Mr President, so they know the shit is real nahmean!
Obama: Ummm. I was told I would be doing this interview with an NY1 correspondent.
Ghostface: Ayo how you know that I aint the nigga from NY1?
Obama: Well...
Ghostface: Nahhh nahhh. I'm playin wit ya son nahmean. Ayo ya assistants must had got that shit fucked up namsayin. But we live right now nahmean.
Obama: Okay but...
Ghostface: Ayo whattup son! It is a utmost honor n a privilege to be speakin wit ya namsayin.
Obama: Thank you....The pleasure is all mine.
Ghostface: Word. Ayo hopefully that aint no homo innuendo or nothin namsayin.
Obama: Aha, well no...I assure you...
Ghostface: But Anyway bein that Imma 10304 nigga to the heart n was raised in Stapleton where basically niggas aint really up on global politics n shit of that types of evolutions nahmeans...what the god pretty sure niggas all over is thinkin is basically like...word....ayo how it feel to like run shit all over the map nahmean? Word yo cos niggas be holdin down they squares namsayin. N yo it's like every nigga motivation to accumulate more corners n shit so that they square get bigger n shit namsayin to the point where they holdin down major spots n they ain't even have to work that spot theyselves no more n put theyselves in harms way like that nahmean. They got little niggas puttin in they work while they sittin in the v.i.p. sections up at the Marquee or Nobu wit they broads n shit namsayin. But they still able to rock they fly gears n buy they moms new stoves n fridges n shit nahmean.
Obama: I'm sorry. I don't think I understand the question. Could you...
Ghostface: Well what the god basically inquirin is ayo...you a nigga at the top of the food chain right now namsayin. You like the lion in the jungle nahmeans. Ayo other niggas might be rhinos or silverback apes even. But at the end of the day, the lion gon bite that ape head off if he want that. Matter fact I aint even know if lions fuck wit silverbacks like that namsayin. Ayo Alvin, do muthafuckin lions be fightin silverbacks, son?
Alvin: Not really sure bout that, son.
Sean Wiggs: Nah Tone. They into eatin bamboo n shit. Lions are carnivores. Apes eat bamboo n hang out in the meadows n shit. They vegetarians n shit.
Ghostface: Word? Ayo I know they eat bamboo n shit but you sure they ain't hunt...
Sean Wiggs: Yeah Tone, you seen that Gorillas In The Mist joint...
Ghostface: Oh righhhh righhhh...yeah yeah yeah yeah...wit the...wit the broad from the Ghostbusters joint....uhhhh...
Alvin: Michelle Pfeiffer.
Ghostface: Nah nigga...uh..you know the one...
Trife Diesel: The I am Zuul broad...
Ghostface: Right nigga! I am the gatekeeper...
Sean Wiggs: Sigourney Weavers!
Ghostface: Sigourney! Word bond, son...yeah yeah yeah. That's right. Oh shit!
Alvin: Was she in the second one?
Sean Wiggs: What Ghostbusters II? Yeah yeah...but that joint was ehhhh.
Ghostface: Wasn't no ways like the first joint, son. But ayo they had a brotha in that second one nahmean!
Obama: Hello?
Ghostface: Hold on, son.
Sean Wiggs: Ernie Hudson.
Trife: The nigga from Oz...
Ghostface: Yeah yeah yeah...yeah, that nigga.
Trife: He was in Miss Congeniality, too.
Ghostface: Ayo fuck outta here wit that, nigga! (Laughing)
Sean Wiggs: Why you even know that, B?
Trife: Nigga, my girl was watchin the shit on tv. I just...
Obama: Excuse me. I don't know if this is some kind of a...
Ghostface: Ayo hold up, G. Yalls niggas gotta pause that. Ayo you gotta pardon niggas namsayin. Niggas ain't mean no disrespect like that. Word.
Obama: Okay, but we're going to have to wrap this up in...
Ghostface: Ayo you like hip hop, ya honor?
Obama: Do I like hip hop? Well, yes and no, I suppose...
Ghostface: Who you listen to, sir?
Obama: Well, I don't just listen to any one type of music, but as far...
Ghostface: As far as hip hop goes nahmean.
Obama: Well, as far as hip hop, I think it was actually well-publicized during my campaign that I had forged several relationships with a number of rappers across the board....from various segments of...
Ghostface: Right but who you fucks wit like in terms of listenin to they shit namsayin?
Obama: Well, in that respect...as far as who I listen to I would have to say guys like Jay-Z, a little Kanye here and there...um...The Fugees, The Black Eyed Peas....
Ghostface: Black Eyed Peas, son?
Obama: Yeah, absolutely, I think they evoke a certain...
Ghostface: Ayo you fucks wit any Wu shit though?
Obama: Well, I can't honestly say...
Ghostface: Right, but you aint heard 36 Chambers? CubanLinx? Liquid Swords? Tical?
Obama: I mean, I'm not entirely familiar with all...
Ghostface: What about my joints? Pretty Toney, Ironman, Supreme Clientele?
Obama: Uh...
Trife: 5 mics, nigga.
Ghostface: Nah nigga. Ya know they robbed a nigga wit that. They gave the Supreme Clientele joint 4-1/2 n shit. Like they aint think a nigga earned that last half...
Alvin: Some of the skits was kinda long maybe...
Sean Wiggs: I gotta hit the Source, I need my other half a mic...
Ghostface, Trife, & Wiggs: Cos that Southernplayalisticadillacmuzick was a classic, right! College Park, East Point...
(Raekwon enters room)
Raekwon: Deliver this through ya audio, ghetto mafioso! Grow hydro....
Ghostface: Ayo the nigga Chef is in the building yalls! What's good, my nigga!
Raekwon: Ayo what's good, son! A nigga was just in the neighborhood...
Obama: Um do you think that we could...
Ghostface: Ayo son...listen listen listen...ayo we got muthafuckin Mr. Barack Obama on the phone, son! Holla at the nigga, son!
Raekwon: Fuck outta here, son. Who you got?
Ghostface: No joke, nigga. Obama.
Raekwon: Ayo you tryna pull a nigga leg...
Ghostface: Nah son...
Raekwon: Ayo pa...
Ghostface: Pa...
Alvin: He ain't fuckin wit you, Rae.
Raekwon: Ayo yalls niggas is tryin to throw banana peels on the floor n see if a nigga gon...
Ghostface: Ayo, ya honor....would you jus holla at this nigga so he stop bein paranoid nahmean?
Obama: Um, are you speaking to me? Uh, listen fellas, this...
Raekwon: Ohhhhhh shit....Ayo son....
Ghostface: I'm tellin you, pa...
Raekwon: Ayo a nigga got to give you a muthafuckin standin ovation for this, son...(claps)
Ghostface: Word is bond, nigga...
Raekwon: Ayo...THIS nigga...how you...
Obama: Okay, listen, fellas, it was very...
Raekwon: Ayo, ya highness, this Shallah Raekwon of the mighty Wu Tang Clan nahmean.
Obama: Yes, hi there.
Raekwon: Ayo I think I speak for real niggas all over the world, from New York to muthafuckin Nigeria or Zimbabwe when I say we feel honored n blessed to be havin a Black president nahmean.
Obama: Okay, thank you.
Raekwon: Word. See cos I don't think that niggas really really really really comprehendin a niggas stature like that nahmean.
Ghostface: You a monument for niggas.
Raekwon: This like when Tony Montana was...
Ghostface: Nah nigga, Sosa...
Raekwon: Ayo son, no doubt the nigga Sosa had the muthafuckin uh muthafuckin uhhhhh...
Ghostface: Nigga had the gusto, son.
Raekwon: No doubt, pa, but the nigga Tony stood for his own....muthafuckin uh...the nigga had his own visions...he inspired...
Ghostface: The nigga inspired niggas no doubt...
Raekwon: Nah, I'm sayin...
Alvin: The nigga was the underdog....
Raekwon: Yeah, like, he had a muthafuckin hill the nigga had to conquer.
Ghostface: The nigga was standin on the wings of eagles...word...
Raekwon: The nigga he uh...he uh... was somethin niggas round the way was relatin to on a personal level n shit. He came from the belly of like a monster n shit. The nigga should had been dead like...
Ghostface: Word...like durin the bathtub shit...
Raekwon: Yeah, the nigga should had been already got his arms n legs chopped the fuck off in the shower...
Obama: Excuse me, but is there any way we could just wrap this up? I'm running on a very...
Raekwon: Ayo, nah nah, chill son...I got you...listen...
Obama: I don't mean to...
Raekwon: Nah nah nah...
Ghostface: Nah...don't apologize...
Raekwon: Don't apologize....nah...
Ghostface: Nah son....nah...
Obama: Okay, well...um, I'm just going to hand things off to my...
Raekwon: Ayo you goin now, son?
Ghostface: Ayo, ya honor...
Obama: Yes, gentlemen, I'm afraid I...
Raekwon: Fuck is this? Ayo pa...I ain't even finish my...
Ghostface: Nah chill, pa...it ain't even like that...
Obama: Thank you, gentlemen.
Raekwon: Ayo this nigga jus hang up on us?
Valerie Jarrett: Hello gentlemen, this is Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to the President for Public Engagement. The President would like to thank you for...
Raekwon: Ayo Miss, tell that nigga I ain't finish my...
Valerie Jarrett: Yes, I'm afraid that the President has...
Raekwon: Ayo I know the nigga still there...I can hear the muthafucka talkin to...
Ghostface: Yo yo yo yo yo chill, son. Ayo Miss Valerie we appreciate...
Raekwon: Ayo n this bitch tryna...
Ghost: Ayo pa...
Raekwon: C'mon son...this...
Ghost: Nah G...
Raekwon: Aight son...but Imma see that nigga...
Valerie Jarrett: Mmhmm....uh, on behalf of the President and his staff, thank you, gentlemen. Goodbye.... (Hangs up)
Ghostface: Ayo Hello?
Trife: They gone.
Ghostface: Ayo the god hope yalls niggas enjoyed our little interview wit the President n shit. This shit was a landmark type joint nahmean.
Sean Wiggs: Word.
Alvin: Word is bond.
Raekwon: Ayo I'm sayin tho, niggas was tryin to get they littlle questions in but the nigga wasn't lettin niggas get they little words in, niggas ain't have they little snacks...
Ghostface: Nah son. It ain't even like that, Rae. Come on, son.
Raekwon: Ayo whatever, pa.
Ghostface: Thanks for tunin in niggas. Aight peace.
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